How Watching Mariska Hargitay’s Documentary About Her Late Mother Is Making Me A Better Son And Father
I’ve been playing catch-up with a lot of the 2025 movies I missed throughout the year, and that exercise recently led to me watching My Mom Jayne. Mariska Hargitay’s outstanding and profound HBO documentary about her late mother, Jayne Mansfield, and how the Hollywood star’s impact can still be felt nearly 60 years after her tragic death, is honestly one of the best docs I’ve seen in quite some time.
In the weeks since watching the documentary film that’s equal parts Hollywood history and exploration of the impact of family and legacy, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about its biggest and most powerful moments. I’ve been thinking about how watching My Mom Jayne taught me to be a better son and father. Allow me to explain…
First Off, I Didn’t Expect My Mom Jayne To Make Me So Emotional
Going into My Mom Jayne, I had a feeling the long-time Law and Order: SVU star’s tribute to her late mother would be an emotional experience. However, I didn’t know it would make me as emotional as it did (I wept multiple times both watching and talking about a few scenes). Knowing that Hargitay’s mom died so young after being in a horrific car crash that also injured Hargitay and her siblings, I thought I was prepared for what was to come. I wasn’t.
From Hargitay talking about being so young when her mother passed away to her decades of trying to put together the pieces of Mansfield’s personal life, to finding and buying her mother’s piano and bringing it home, this documentary was an unforgettable and undeniable tear-jerker. You know, it was a cathartic experience that led me to think about the relationship I share with my mom as well as those with my three young kids.
Since Watching The Doc, I’ve Been So Much More Appreciative Of My Parents
Though there is no comparison between my upbringing and everything Hargitay went through in her formative years (and even in adulthood), My Mom Jayne has made me much more appreciative of my parents. Over the course of my life, and those of my two brothers, they’ve made countless sacrifices, been there in times of need, and have provided open ears and hearts, as well as a shoulder to cry on.
This documentary is clearly about Hargitay, her mother, her family, and everything they’ve gone through over the years, but it’s also a beautiful film that forces the audience to look at themselves in a mirror and contemplate their own lives. That’s what happened while I was watching. Though I’ve always known my parents have my back, watching this journey helped me better appreciate them and realize how lucky I was to have them in my corner growing up and how lucky I am today to still be able to call them.
I’ve Also Been Making Efforts To Be A More Present Father
This isn’t really a shocker, but parenting is hard. Honestly, it’s the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life, and it’s only getting harder as my kids grow older. There have been countless times over the years where I’ve tried to rush through the process in the hope of getting through the day, but that doesn’t really fly when it comes to parenting. You can’t rush or game the system and not expect there to be some consequences.
Since watching this doc, I’ve been making a stronger effort to be a more present, empathetic, and open father. I take that extra time getting them ready for school, I try to involve them more when I’m cooking dinner (this is still a work in progress), and I make sure their day ends with some kind words, a warm embrace, and the promise I’ll be there tomorrow. As Townes Van Zandt once famously sang, “close your eyes, I’ll be here in the morning; close your eyes, I’ll be here for a while.”
I’m More Cognizant Of How My Actions Impact Their Lives
Numerous times throughout My Mom Jayne, it’s stressed how a parent’s actions can deeply impact their children, both in the moment and over the course of their lives. Similar to how I felt the need to be a more present father after finishing the documentary, I have also been more cognizant of how my words and actions impact my son and daughters.
There’s no telling what’s going to happen today, tomorrow, next week, or next year, but I am of the thinking that I want my kids to know and understand that they are loved, they are cared for, and they matter. For someone who has struggled with expressing their emotions and practicing empathy over the years, this is a work in progress. However, it’s something I strive to do each and every day.
Similarly, I Realize How Lucky I Am To Have So Many Memories With My Mom
It doesn’t escape me how lucky I am to have so many memories with my mom. She kept meticulous notes in my baby book, has a record of pretty much every art project from school (she sends pictures constantly), and has always made it her top priority to support her three sons no matter what it takes. Watching the old footage of Hargitay and Mansfield, either on TV shows or home movies, gave me a greater sense of appreciation for those memories I share with my mom and how lucky I am to be able to make new ones with her today.
Though I don’t call my mom as much as I should, and I only get to see her a few times a year, I know that we have 37 years of shared memories that we both cherish dearly. Those memories, the stories we share, mean so much to me, and I hope they mean just as much to her.
All in all, My Mom Jayne is one of the best experiences I’ve had all year, and this critically acclaimed documentary is a must for sons, daughters, fathers, mothers, and everyone else with a beating heart.
