My So-Called Thot Year
Long story short: I didn’t have sex until I was 24. Then, eight years later, I met the love of my life, whom I affectionately call British Baekoff because he’s a Brit and likes to bake, duh! Anyway, sometimes I wonder if the Universe was like, “Good grief, boo, you’re not taking that puss-puss out for enough spins off the lot, so let’s put it on CarMax, so a grown-ass man—who files his taxes early and wears sensible pants—can take you off the market.” #IsThisHowJoanDidionStartedHerEssays.Jokes aside, the moment I knew...