Critics Have Seen The Crow Remake, And It’s Being Called A ‘Lifeless’ And ‘Pointless’ Goth Superhero Flick
As we look ahead to this weekend in new 2024 movies, we may have a dud on our hands with The Crow remake. Just ahead of the adaptation landing in theaters Thursday night, Lionsgate Films lifted the embargo for the Bill Skarsgård-led flick, and critics are not happy with the long-awaited reimagining of James O’Barr’s comic.
Let’s start things off with CinemaBlend’s The Crow review. Our very own Eric Eisenberg gave the movie a dismal 1.5 out of 5 stars, and scratched his head regarding why the remake was even on the books to be made for so long. In his words:
There’s no exciting new angle on the story of Eric Draven that absolutely demanded to be presented on the big screen (nor an exciting screenwriting voice), and the long procession of filmmakers who signed on and then moved on says that there was never a particular vision that needed to be executed. It’s a pointless remake, and perhaps the only good in it is that its existence means we will likely never hear about another one and can go back to simply appreciating the original.
Rupert Sanders’ version of The Crow comes after years and years of Hollywood attempting to bring the character back to the screen following Brandon Lee’s iconic outing in the 1994 movie. In the past, actors such as Mark Wahlberg, Bradley Cooper, Channing Tatum, Ryan Gosling and James McAvoy were all reportedly in the running to be part of prior remakes before this version got off the ground in 2022. After all this time, critics are overall confused about the reason why The Crow was even resurrected. As The Guardian wrote:
There’s just no pull, no urge, no passion, just B-roll of two lifeless actors posing for a lower-tier perfume ad. Skarsgård is fine in the film’s limited action scenes – physically convincing and committed – but his one-note skulking isn’t enough to fill the gaps elsewhere. Twigs is completely, deadeningly flat, giving us absolutely nothing when she needs to be proving to us why her death would be painful enough to cause such a violent reckoning.
Certainly there was going to be comparisons between Skarsgård and Lee as The Crow no matter what, but these thoughts on the remake make it sound like the new release isn’t much fun to experience in theaters. As Rolling Stone quipped about the movie:
Execution-wise, this emphasis on Skarsgård and FKA Twigs whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears devolves into a cross between a faux-erotic perfume commercial and outtakes from a failed YA series, and couldn’t feel more sluggish.
It’s funny how two critics likened the movie to a perfume commercial, isn’t it? The core plot of the movie is about a murdered musician who is resurrected to avenge his own death and that of his fiancée, played by FKA Twigs. Slashfilm also called the movie “lifeless” when speaking about it as well. As written:
But as it stands, the film is dull, lifeless, hazy, and unmoving. Viewers will have nothing invested in Eric’s journey, and nothing will seem to have been gained from his violence. Like many remakes, The Crow feels perfunctory and thoughtless.
While it’s clear that The Crow did not impress most critics (the movie has already debuted with a 13% Rotten Tomatoes score as of this writing), one critic with Collider has shared a different take on the film. The writer, who notes loving movies like Underworld, Hellboy, Blade and Queen of the Damned (all of the 1990s and 2000s), appreciated the movie for emulating the emo melodrama she was nostalgic for a new generation. As she put it:
[T]his film is a perfect Gen Z successor to the original film. I checked into this movie fully expecting a bit of cheese, some clunky dialogue, and a story that operates purely on vibes. That’s what I got.
Even so, she couldn’t fully endorse the movie for having “shoddy world-building” and “narrative plot holes.” Perhaps there’s still time for The Crow to earn a cult following, but for now, these first words about the movie make it sound like it might be better left skipped.
May we direct you to Zoë Kravitz’s Blink Twice, which critics had a great time with? Both The Crow and Blink Twice are the latest new movies to arrive in theaters this weekend as the summer movie season soon comes to an end.
