Let’s Cast Season 3 of ‘The Traitors’

Last week, the State of the Union address was broadcast at the exact same time as the Season 2 finale of The Traitors on Peacock …

President Biden really should have considered rescheduling. Because most of the reality TV–viewing public had already pledged its allegiance to Alan Cumming and his bedazzled kilt, to the convergence of 22 of our favorite current and former reality stars pretending to do homicides while in fox-hunting cosplay, and to the gorgeous Scottish castle they were pretending to live in while they actually slept off their faux murders at a hotel by the airport. It’s not easy to newly dedicate your life to learning the decades-old lore of several TV franchises you may have never watched before—but reality fans are nothing if not dedicated.

Of course, The Traitors didn’t start as an epic reality TV crossover event. It started as a simple Dutch competition show: De Verraders, which is based on the children’s camp game Mafia (or, as I’ve always thought of it, “violent heads up, seven up”). In the game, as in the TV show, a select few “Traitors” are secretly chosen from the larger group, the “Faithfuls,” and these Traitors begin picking people off while everyone else tries to suss out their true identities. The Traitors has now made its way to several countries, including the U.S., where it’s proved much more fun—and a little more complicated—than “televised Mafia for grown-ups” sounds.

That’s mostly thanks to the excellent casting by Deena Katz. Unlike Season 1, Season 2 of The Traitors (U.S.) ditched the half-normies, half-stars casting concept and went full tilt with a 22-person lineup of reality TV favorites from all different franchises, networks, and strategic-fake-murder philosophies. In the reality TV community, we often call things like Scandoval or a particularly explosive Real Housewives reunion “our Super Bowl”—but Season 2 of The Traitors was like if the Olympics were made entirely out of Super Bowls, everyone got 12 outfit changes, and also, a Real Housewife and a Challenge champion uncovered a deep soul connection on the shores of a Scottish loch. Sure, we’ve watched these people compete on shows like The Challenge, Survivor, and Big Brother; bicker and bond on The Real Housewives and The Bachelor; and argue legalities in the British House of Commons (OK, that one was actually new). But seeing this combination of people transition from their own small bubbles of reality TV into this Venn diagram of strategy, emotion, deceit, and allyship was a new experience all its own. I mean, where else can you hear former Real Housewives of Atlanta star Phaedra Parks mutter, in all sincerity, “Oh my Lord, sweet baby Jesus, not Ekin-Su,” about the former Love Island contestant, who had, unbeknownst to Phaedra, just been murdered via poisoned chalice by her co-Traitor Parvati Shallow.

That random mix of fan favorites—and the fact that Season 2 was a week-to-week release rather than a binge drop—suddenly took The Traitors from a small but mighty cult show to must-watch watercooler TV. Beyond just getting to see so many of our favorite reality stars and newly favorite randoms (is that you, Bergilicious?) interact with one another, we also watched familiar TV personas seize the opportunity to try on new and highly specific archetypes. The general demographic breakdown of this cast came down to “gamers” (Big Brother, The Challenge, Survivor) and “non-gamers” (Bravo, The Bachelor, Love Island, and miscellaneous athletes and politicians), but within those categories, there were more specific character types:

Devastatingly Charming Housewife With a Cutting Wit and Telling Twitch
Unexpectedly Clever but Also Morally Crusading Bachelor
Black Widow Turned Ice Queen With a Perpetual Purse and Iconic Headband
Agent of Chaos Who Doesn’t Care About Winning, Losing, Morality, Betrayal, or Anything Except Talkin’ a Little Shit and Havin’ a Little Fun
Guy With Way More Influence Than You Would Have Ever Expected
Gamer Who Nearly Ruins Everything by Over-Gaming
Non-Gamer Who Nearly Ruins Everything by Under-Gaming
Lovable Housewife Who Almost Definitely Believes People Are Actually Being Murdered in Scotland

And it was perfect. Or … mostly perfect. The first six episodes of Season 2 were some of the campiest and most riveting reality television we’ve seen in quite some time, thanks to a cast full of weirdos, scoundrels, and sweethearts. You have absolutely never seen so many people be this relentlessly and consistently wrong with such confidence in your life. There was, however, admittedly some room for improvement on the back end. There were too many Bravo Housewives and Housewives-adjacent players protecting one another from elimination when we came down to the end, and even the gamers seemed to forget that the game is called Traitors. We needed fewer besties and more frenemies from the same franchise, like battling queens Sandra and Parvati.

But where the plotting and strategizing lagged, the cast continued to shine. Aptitude for being a Traitor or a Faithful isn’t always something you can see or feel or strategize or anticipate (what I’m saying is that there’s no real logic to winning this game). You just have to be yourself, and—in this case—it is ideal that your “self” be someone who would accuse an elderly man of faking asthma. Someone who would call the Traitors “idiots” moments after voting out the sixth consecutive Faithful at the round table. Someone who would take down their hood the moment they sense betrayal and hiss, “No one likes you, Parvati, everyone thinks you’re a fucking Traitor.” Someone who wouldn’t flinch upon hearing that.

Basically, you need to be a self-obsessed, delusional, plotting, planning, gorgeous reality TV star. As Cumming likes to say in a superlatively Scottish growl: “Don’t hate the Traitors; hate the game.” So as we head into the waiting period for the already green-lit Season 3 of The Traitors, let’s iterate on this near-perfect Season 2 to find the next winning collection of cast members.

Queens of Bravo

What worked: Traitors has never seen a performance like Phaedra’s: charming, duplicitous, warm, and cutting. Phaedra was whatever she needed to be in the moment she needed to be it, and she did it years after reportedly being kicked off The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Larsa was an unexpectedly influential player early in the game, while Shereé and MJ were able to play nice and fly under the radar until the very bitter end. (To be fair, Shereé may not have realized she was on a reality show.)

What needs work: But in general, the Bravo alliance came together far too easily and lasted far too long. At times the game was less “Faithfuls Vs. Traitors” and more “Bravo Vs. Everybody Else.” If we’re casting Bravo stars, we need to be casting more disparate ones—or even better, enemies—to avoid another numbers gang up.

Season 3 Top Picks

Dorinda Medley (RHONY): The less strategically inclined Bravo cast members need to have some other sort of motivation, whether it’s a naturally competitive nature, a reputation for confrontation, or a desperation to get back in the good graces of reality TV producers. Dorinda has all three, with charm and maternal instincts to spare—plus, her ability to be vicious is genuinely terrifying.
Monica Garcia (RHOSLC): The reality world is not done with Monica Garcia; she simply needs to be re-homed. On The Traitors, she’d have the opportunity to roll out the charm that originally won audiences over on RHOSLC, before it was revealed that she was an IRL traitor. However, if Monica managed to overcome her reputation and make it far into the game—and she had to lie and deceive to do so—her recovered reputation may never actually … recover. Personally, I’m willing to take the risk.
Kenya Moore (RHOA): Kenya is smart and cunning and would end anyone who crosses her at the round table—but becoming a mom has also softened her in a way that may keep her in the game long enough to do some damage worthy of her reputation.
Captain Jason (Below Deck Down Under): I have never met anyone who has encountered Captain Jason, in real life or on TV, and was not bowled over by how handsome and nice he is. Sometimes you just want to be around someone who’s pleasant and who also happens to be a sly, natural-born leader.

Future draftees: Dr. Heavenly, Porsha Williams, Craig Conover, Lala Kent, Erika Jayne, Karen Huger, Nene Leakes, Sonja Morgan, Meghan King Edmonds, Jessel Taank

The Gamers

What worked: CT and Trishelle not only earned almost every dollar of every challenge in Season 2, but also made a plan to get themselves to the end and saw it through. The ability to strategize is a gift only select reality TV players have—if they can harness it for a new game.

What needs work: Unfortunately, the gamers could learn a thing or two from the Housewives, like how to defend themselves and obfuscate with filthy, low-down reads at the round table.

Season 3 Top Picks

Wes Bergman (The Challenge): Traitors burned through some giant Challenge personalities early by casting both CT and Johnny Bananas in Season 2—but Wes is the final member of that unholy trinity, and perhaps the most duplicitous of all. Unlike Johnny, however, he has the ability to lay low while he forms alliances … aaaand he will inevitably shove anyone and everyone out of his way to grab power.
Coral Smith (The Challenge): These words from OG Challenger Coral have stayed with me since I was an adolescent: “I don’t wrestle … I fuckin’ beat bitches up.” Now, since the aughts we’ve weeded most of the physical violence out of reality TV, and that certainly wouldn’t fly on Peacock. But everything about Coral tells you that she could beat you up—but instead, she’ll probably just beat you on The Traitors.
Yul Kwon (Survivor): There’s a deep well of Survivor alums who could pose a threat with their strategies, physical play, and personalities, but I like the slightly calmer energy Yul brings to the table. He’s a strategic mastermind who could lead the Faithfuls to victory, and if he were named a Traitor … he may never be found out.
Taylor Hale (Big Brother): A social charmer, beautiful to the point of distraction, young enough to be underestimated, and successful enough for competitors to want to work with her—the recent Big Brother winner could be a power player in this game.
Britney Haynes (Big Brother): If for the reaction memes alone, we deserve Britney back on our screens and on The Traitors. I see her leading some Faithfuls to a very sassy win or, just as good, an equally silly demise.

Future draftees: Andy Herren, Dani Reyes, Natalie Anderson, The Miz, Beth Stolarczyk, Jordan Wiseley, Michaela Bradshaw, Kass McQuillen, Malcolm Freberg (This list could be endless.)

Chaos Agents

What worked: This is, admittedly, my favorite strand of Traitors casting. I don’t care whether Kate Chastain basically quits every season she’s brought into—the woman comes in, sows chaos, is mean to everyone while being almost 100 percent correct, and, when it counts the most, makes the strangest, most inexplicable moves you could possibly imagine.

What needs work: You cannot—and should not—correct chaos; you can only hope it serves the greater good.

Season 3 Top Picks

Tiffany “New York” Pollard (The Flavor of Love and many others): It actually feels criminal that one of reality TV’s most chaotic icons from one of the most chaotic reality shows ever made, Flavor of Love, hasn’t been drafted to The Traitors yet. When her light shines on you, you’ve never been warmer, and when you’re in her shadow, take cover, because she will burn this castle to the ground.
Jade Cole (America’s Next Top Model): Sure, Jade hasn’t made a public appearance since 2013—but when you’ve got it, you’ve got it, and there’s no chance Jade doesn’t still have it. She WAS the very first woman to say, “This is not America’s Next Top Best Friend!” And if you remember her CoverGirl commercial, you know she can’t act for shit, but that it’s also impossible to tell when she’s being serious. Put her in a Traitor’s hood and let her serve: “Wonderful, fabulous!”
Carolyn Wiger (Survivor): Please put Carolyn on The Traitors. Please. No one is this strange yet stable, this unpredictable yet reliable. Even after 44 seasons of Survivor, Carolyn set a new precedent for chaotic good. Her inability to ever be read could be perfect for either side of the Traitors coin.
Stassi Schroeder (Vanderpump Rules): Now, let’s be clear—basically the entire cast of Vanderpump Rules, past and present, could sow immediate chaos on The Traitors. But Stassi is the original mean girl (now allegedly reformed) with a wit that’s quick but that can barely keep up with her rage. To quote the woman herself from over a decade ago: “Yeah, I am the devil, and don’t you forget it.” The only thing wiser than fearing Stassi is sticking with her … if she’s on your side, that is.

Future draftees: Tamar Braxton, Gemma Collins, EJ Johnson, Christine Quinn, Alexandra Jarvis, Alexandra Rose, Alexandra Hall, Kristin Cavillari, Lindsay Hubbard

The Rest of Reality

What worked: Reality shows that operate in love, the arts, and even tangible skilled trades really give no indication of how one of their cast members will operate within the many twists and turns of The Traitors. They therefore make for the most exciting and surprising arcs …

What needs work: They also make for the most boring bombs. Cast wisely.

Season 3 Top Picks

Gabby Windey (The Bachelorette): There has not been a moment when I’ve watched former Bachelorette Gabby and not been disarmed by her whimsy, stunned by her strangeness, and absolutely tickled by her whole deal. She is a deeply singular personality, and she’s also crazy funny. No one would want to get rid of her, which just might be a great reason to make her the last person you should keep around …
Dr. Holly Hatcher-Frazier (Dance Moms): Dance Moms representation just feels necessary at this point, and casting Abby Lee Miller seems like it could result in an actual murder. As an alternative: Dr. Holly is smart and deeply moral, and she could not act her way out of a paper bag, which is always a fun feature in a Faithful.
Shea Couleé (RuPaul’s Drag Race): We want the looks; we want the quips; we want the competitive spirit to annihilate the competition in a fashion so sleek, so sly, so absolutely shantay-you-stay(-Shea) that the sashayed-away foes don’t even know what’s hit them.
Bobby Berk and Tan France (Queer Eye): Remember when I said I wanted more frenemies from the same franchise? This is what I meant. Or, hey—maybe they’re just enemies! I guess we’ll find out once and for all on Season 3 of The Traitors.

Future draftees: Rachel Lindsay, Khloe Kardashian, Dorothy Wang, Spencer and Heidi Pratt, Snooki

One of a Kinds

What worked: Tossing an athlete, a politician, or a ballroom dancer into this demonic mix isn’t just a great setup for a joke—casting a few folks who are used to succeeding but not used to produced television is also a nice way to add complexity to a Traitors cast.

What needs work: Gamers and Housewives both specialize in full-time betrayal, so it’s vital that the less professionally duplicitous players be convincing, influential, charming, or some combination of the three. Also, in Season 2, the cacophony of reality stars was so overwhelming that professional boxer Deontay Wilder had to just straight up quit the show.

Season 3 Top Picks

Daniel Ricciardo: Sometimes a man who’s absolutely made for reality TV just so happens to get sidelined by being an elite athlete for a few decades. Danny Ric is less present on the Formula One track these days, but he’s absolutely built to grin and wink his way through a season of The Traitors. Plus, you know he gives good confessional (thank you for your service, Drive to Survive!).
Law Roach: Likewise, Law Roach has been going through a bit of a career transition after he unexpectedly retired from celebrity fashion styling. But there’s no reason to keep that inner fire—or the kilts that are sure to follow—away from the public at large. I’d be fascinated to see how Law would handle our slightly-less-than-A-list faves.
Reesa Teesa: After releasing a 50-part series on TikTok about her lying ex-husband called “Who TF Did I Marry,” Reesa Teesa was signed by the talent agency CAA, and for good reason: She’s a natural-born storyteller, and even through all the mess, she came out looking as kind and moral as possible. The Faithfuls need a little guidance through the storms sometimes—or maybe the Traitors need her as the ultimate decoy?
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: Known reality fan, absolute smarty-pants, dominating physical presence, record six-time NBA Most Valuable Player, and at least 20 years most folks’ senior. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar could be the ultimate captain of the Faithfuls and, ideally, the future bestie of Tiffany “New York” Pollard.