We rated this year’s Eurovision entries based on their gaming choices – and it’s not looking good for the UK

Happy Eurovision week! It’s been two years since the last competition, but it’s finally that time of year again.

It’s set to be a Eurovision like none before, thanks to the ongoing pandemic and need for constant COVID testing – by audience members, acts, and anyone else involved.

But what if we were to judge each of this year’s acts not on their music but… by their gaming preferences? Could it give us a clue who might win?

On the Eurovision site, each act has been quizzed, including who they would choose to main in various games. 

What were their picks? And what does that mean about their chances? Let’s find out (NB, not all the acts were asked about gaming. And if they’re not gamers? They don’t stand a chance). And so, in alphabetical order:

Anxhela Peristeri – Albania

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Rosalina”

Let’s be real, Rosalina – the princess from Super Mario Galaxy – is essentially budget Peach. She’s a heavyweight in Mario Kart, but don’t expect to see this entry from Albania at the top of the leaderboards if this is anything to go by.

Montaigne – Australia

Who do you main in Super Smash Bros? “Kirby”

Australia’s Montaigne brings one of the most unique entries to this year’s competition with its quirky changes and Marina and the Diamonds vibe. Kirby, the bizarre little pink puffball, is an excellent choice: cute but quietly devastating.

Vincent Bueno – Austria

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Luigi”

Bueno has cleverly chosen the superior Mario brother for Mario Kart, which somewhat makes up for a lacklustre song. With two songs called “Amen” this year, this entry is sadly forgettable.

Efendi – Azerbaijan

We’re playing Street Fighter – who are you picking? “Chun-Li”

Efendi did not come to play at this year’s Eurovision, they came to win – with the feisty anthem “Mata Hari”. The choice of Chun-Li could well be indicative of them high-kicking their way towards the top.

Hooverphonic – Belgium

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Raymond: Luigi but I prefer to play FIFA”

Sorry Hooverphonic, this was the incorrect answer.

Victoria – Bulgaria

We’re playing Tekken – who are you picking? “Julia”

With the gentle ballad “Growing up is getting old”, who would’ve thought Victoria would be a fighting game fan? Perhaps there’s fighting spirit behind her performance, too?

Elena Tsagrinou – Cyprus

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Birdo”

Arriving at Eurovision with an absolute bop that’s set to do very well? Choosing trans icon Birdo as her Mario Kart main? We have to stan. Douze points.

Benny Cristo – Czech Republic

We’re playing Tekken – who are you picking? “Yoshimitsu”

Most entrants at the King of Iron Fist tournament use their, well, fists to fight. Not Yoshimitsu, who wields a sword. Seems like cheating to us. What’s Benny Cristo got up his sleeves. then?

Fyr Og Flamme – Denmark

We’re playing Street Fighter – who are you picking? “Dhalsim – we too have long arms!”

Picking Dhalsim is a canny choice in Street Fighter, with those long arms keeping the competition at bay. But it’ll be quite the stretch if Fyr Og Flamme manage a win.

Uku Suviste – Estonia

We’re playing Street Fighter – who are you picking? “Always Ryu!”

Ryu is the poster boy of Street Fighter but a pretty obvious choice for pretty boy Uku Suviste. We can expect Estonia somewhere middle of the road.

Blind Channel – Finland

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Yoshi <3”

Finland are known for their rock acts and this year is no different. Except metalheads Blind Channel show their softer side choosing Yoshi in Mario Kart. But who says Yoshi can’t rock out?

Barbara Pravi – France

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Yoshi!”

Another choice for Yoshi from France’s Barbara Pravi, which is of course the correct choice. Yoshi come in all colours to represent us all. Yoshi users rise up.

Tornike Kipiani – Georgia

We’re playing Tekken – who are you picking? “Paul Phoenix”

Not even Paul Phoenix’s Hammer Punch can save Georgia from nil points this year.

Jendrik – Germany

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Shy Guy”

Ok, Shy Guy might suit the cutesy little ukelele-led ditty that is “I Don’t Feel Hate”. But really, who chooses Shy Guy in Mario Kart?

Stefania – Greece

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Mario”

We’re disappointed in Stefania. The soaring “Last Dance” slaps and could well be a highlight of the competition, but it’s totally undermined by choosing the basic Mario. Rookie error.

Daði og Gagnamagnið – Iceland

Who do you main in Super Smash Bros? “Crash Bandicoot isn’t on the roster – but he should be!”

Extra points here for Iceland who clearly know their gaming references. Not just Internet meme sensations but gamers too with excellent opinions. Do we have a winner here?

Måneskin – Italy

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? Damiano: “Princess Peach”; Victoria: “Yoshi”; Thomas: “Bowser”

Italy’s Måneskin (bassist Victoria is Danish) cheat a little with three choices between them, but they have at least made three very smart choices. Could they be hiding a blue shell between them?

Destiny – Malta

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Super Mario”

Look, calling him Super Mario doesn’t make him any less of a basic choice. Destiny is a favourite in this year’s competition, but with a choice like this not even a saxophone solo can help.

Vasil – North Macedonia

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Princess Peach – all the way!”

An outlier in this year’s Eurovision, the choice of Princess Peach has suddenly seen Vasil soar up the rankings, especially with that emphatic “all the way!”. 

TIX – Norway

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Peach”

Another Peach fan here, immediately improving a generic song tenfold. Could “Fallen Angel” rise up to snatch the crown?

RAFAŁ – Poland

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Mario for sure!”

Sigh.

The Black Mamba – Portugal

We’re playing Street Fighter – who are you picking? “Sagat”

Sagat was the final boss in the original Street Fighter, but the snoozefest of “Love Is On My Side” would make for a pretty anticlimactic ending to this year’s Eurovision.

Roxen – Romania

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Toad”

Toad should never be underestimated. Small and nimble, Toad is often able to speed to first place. Roxen could well be a dark horse this year then, don’t underestimate this understated banger.

Senhit – San Marino

We’re playing Street Fighter – who are you picking? “Ryu”

A basic choice for a performer who’s anything but. “Adrenalina” is one of the catchiest earworms of this year’s competition and the addition of Flo Rida rapping could well be the hadouken required to win.

Tusse – Sweden

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Luigi”

Another fan of the better, sassier Mario brother from the country with one of the best track records in Eurovision history. This is a perfect match. Expect Tusse to side eye his way through the competition.

Gjon’s Tears – Switzerland

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Toad because he’s so funny!”

The evocative “Tout l’univers” is anything but funny, but we have to admire Gjon’s Tears for showing range. Expect this to do well, with a cackle and a handful of red shells.

Jeangu Macrooy – Netherlands

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Toad”

Toad is a favourite Mario Kart character among this year’s contestants, then. Jeangu Macrooy isn’t a favourite among the bookies, but don’t sleep on this one – it’s a great song.

Go_A – Ukraine

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Princess Daisy”

Wow. Go_A really chose chaos. Princess Daisy? The…”other” princess? Honestly, this could go either way. One to watch.

James Newman – United Kingdom

We’re playing Mario Kart – who are you picking? “Bowser!”

Mario nemesis Bowser might get off to a slow start, but he’s unstoppable if he does manage to pick up speed. Is this a good sign for the UK? Possibly not.

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