“The Law Offices of Quibble, Squibble and Bicker”
One of the funniest, yet informative, podcasts that has materialized is “The Law Offices of Quibble, Squibble and Bicker, which based on the insanity of 3 hosts who I’m sure can either be arrested or committed. The premise of the show is the 3 co-hosts Greg, Matt and Brendon attempt to pretend they are lawyers but not really.
They are smart, funny, and definitely crazy yet all of their guests actually love them no matter how they embarrass them. The fights and demands to appear on their show are hard to keep up with. For those who hate podcasts it’s essential you listen to these guys…. you will never be the same.
How did your show originate?
Brendan: Well, I am not one of the original founders… But my understanding is that Matt and Greg were Portland Karaoke Pals (which is a fun string of words to type) and that after many of a conversation, Matt decided that this nonsense should be saved for future generations (perhaps as a warning…?) At some point, Matt decided that what every bicycle needs is a third wheel, so he called me. I was probably drunk and said yes, I would do the show.
Greg: It sprung from Matt’s brow and Greg’s bowels, and then Brendan spanked its bottom.
Matt: Greg and I would have ridiculously long conversations (for two grown men) and during those conversations, we would find ourselves laughing at the often ridiculous statements either of us would make. I realized that the world was missing out and we were denying our posterity the opportunity to revel at the insanity we both had. (Wow. I really am a narcissist.) I tried to get Greg to do some kind of show on YouTube for a while but we never worked it out. Then Covid-19 hit. Everyone learned about Zoom and got adjusted to horrible WiFi connections. I found the Anchor podcast platform and set up a podcast in about 10 minutes. I figured we were at the right level of low budget and quality to start and away we went! For two episodes. This is where Brendan comes in…
One of Greg’s sisters said that I was being too mean to Greg and refused to listen anymore. I figured I needed a foil. Brendan is an old friend that I knew could work well as Greg’s protector. He came on as a lark and surprisingly decided to stick around. For which, Greg and I are incredibly thankful. Brendan tends to keep us grounded and is unwilling to accept many of my ridiculous notions and dismissiveness while also providing some really funny material. That and when Brendan gets hammered, he becomes very entertaining as he becomes more monosyllabic and sleepy.
What inspired your very cool premise?
Brendan: Before I arrived, Matt and Greg seemed to have a natural (supernatural?) ability to squabble like an old married couple. However, there wasn’t anything show concept happening with that, so I guess they settled on being a fake law firm. Which I found interesting, since going into law was a thought of mine when I was young. Then I figured out how much it would cost and I tossed the idea out the window and went into marketing because it seemed easy and at the time required no basic working knowledge of math.
Greg: Matt is a very clever lad.
Matt: I can’t really take credit. I was inspired by the closing credits of many of Monty Python’s TV shows and movies. They would have fake business names and such. That combined with the fact one of our mutual friends said that Greg and I bicker too much. For alliterative purposes, rather than just saying the Law Offices of Bicker, it became Law Offices Of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker. It also gives us license to argue on air without it seeming impolite as people will expect it from the title. Or at least they should.
Out of all of you which one of you is the most fun?
Brendan: Aww. That’s a gotcha question. Fun is a relative state. Matt keeps Greg and me in line with some well-placed puns and dad jokes. Not to mention consistently correcting our grammar or statements… always a gas. Greg, what can I say, I have known Matt for almost 30 years at this point. So Greg is like a new puppy, always giving me a chuckle and then sometimes wetting himself. As for me… I think I am the jerk of the crew. Living in Florida I bring a certain Florida Man vibe to each and every show.
Greg: Definitely not Matt.
Matt: Well, that’s a goddamn assumption. Greg is correct though. I’m definitely NOT fun. I can’t really say that Greg or Brendan are fun either. No one would really want to hang out with us. Because we quibble and we squabble and we bicker. However, we are occasionally funny. We guarantee at least two laughs per episode or your money back. Most people laugh at the name of the show so if we can get one more laugh out of a person, we’ll be in good shape and be able to keep the pennies we squander.
What do you look for in a guest?
Brendan: Someone who is going to give us free shit. Seriously though interesting stories and a sense of humor. We can get a little out of control so a good guest would need to be on that wavelength and provide some interesting insights about things.
Greg: Compassion.
Matt: A pulse. Honestly, we can talk to anyone. That being said, if someone wants to be a guest on our show AND enjoy themselves, they need to lighten the fuck up and hang on for the ride. Now, when I say ‘ride’, I don’t mean a roller coaster. We’re more like a hayride or a walk to your driveway. If you take yourself too seriously, we are not for you. Hell, if you take yourself too seriously, YOU are not for you.
What are the challenges you face doing your show aside from prison lol?
Brendan: Well first is finding the time to do it each week. I rely heavily on Matt and Greg to do the heavy lifting on guest research. Beyond that it is really keeping the Girl Scout meeting downstairs quiet (or unable to hear what I am talking about), making sure the dog is quiet and not pissing off my wife so she comes out and slugs me live on the air. So, if anyone is going to county lock-up it’s her, not me.
Greg: Falling off my chair from too much rum.
Matt: Since we run a show from Zoom and none of us are in the same room, audio quality is the biggest challenge. Then, time constraints, as we all have very different schedules. It’s tricky finding the time for all three of us to be on since Greg and I are in Oregon and Brendan is in Florida. Not long ago, we added a second recording slot to our show to accommodate the greater interest we’ve been getting. This has become its own challenge, especially because of Greg’s laundry schedule.
What kind of topics are your favorite to discuss….and you’re all allowed a different opinion?
Brendan: Personally, I love talking about pop culture, movies, music, and politics (in a funny you got to laugh at it perspective). Being in marketing as a profession I also like talking about cultural issues, social issues, and philosophy. ha.
Greg: I prefer topics that are inane and frivolous, because then I don’t have to think too hard.
Matt: We expect people to have different opinions otherwise our show name would become ironic. And we don’t even understand what irony is. That being said, I have the same opinion as I did with guests. We’ll talk about anything. We’re old white men. We have opinions about everything. And they are all the correct opinions.
How, when and where can people enjoy your show?
Brendan: Beats me… On Anchor and other podcasting platforms as well as now YouTube. We record on Wednesdays and publish on Thursdays and Sundays. That is all I know. Matt is in charge of that.
Greg: The night time is the right time to “enjoy” our podcast. I listen to it on the Apple Podcast app, but other than that, I don’t know. I can’t even format a disc.
Matt: Another goddamn assumption. But, there are many places people can decide if they either enjoy or hate our show: Pandora, Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Overcast, Castro, Pocket Casts and YouTube. If you go to our website, www.qsblaw.org, you can pick which one you want to listen to. Allegedly, we’re on Amazon Music and iHeartRadio but I haven’t been able to find us. We also have a presence on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and even TikTok. TikTok is the devil.
Where do you hope the show eventually takes you?
Brendan: Free booze has been the biggest personal benefit at this point for me. But honestly, I am enjoying the time spent with Matt and Greg. If it paid for a night out for all of us once a week I would consider it a success. More than that, I am enjoying being part of this oddball community that is sort of building up around our show and the things that those we interview are doing. So an expanded network of like-minded (hopefully) and fun people from different backgrounds is pretty cool.
Greg: To Hell and back.
Matt: This is pie in the sky and truly narcissistic, but, ultimately, I think we all would like to get paid handsomely to do this full time. One of my goals is to get Greg to have ambition again. As a direct monetary goal, if we could pull in $10,000 a week, that would give us all a solid financial situation that would allow us to hire professional audio engineers and legitimately creative people to polish our rough edges.
We’re making a good start. I think we’ve gotten about $17 so far, six bottles of rum and three mugs. We’re on our way!
